Things I Miss Since I've Become Pregnant

Since I’ve become pregnant, there are things that I miss.  Especially now that I am 36 weeks and 2 days along, the longing for some of these things has become more prevalent.  Things I miss:

1. Wearing blue jeans.  Sure, they have maternity jeans.  But unfortunately the current style is “skinny jeans”, which is kind of an oxymoron when it comes to pregnant women.  The last thing I want is a pair of maternity jeans that are skin tight.  I have enough weight pushing on my bladder without having to worry about my pants adding to it every time I sit down.

2. My feet.  When standing, they no longer exist.  The only time I can see them is when I’m sitting and I have my feet up.  Even then, the sight of them all swollen is enough to make me cringe.  The only shoes I can wear are flip flops.  Yes, they are the perfect shoe choice for Florida.  But you have to be extremely careful when walking across any slick surface as flip flops have no traction or grip whatsoever.  And when it comes to shaving my legs (because lets face it, we feel bad enough we don't need to add hairy legs to it) I suddenly become a yoga master who can contort her body in lots of nifty ways so I can reach my legs without smooshing the belly.  Never even took one yoga class.  Go me!

3. Sleep.  Seven hours of uninterrupted sleep to be exact.  I can’t even remember the last time I was able to sleep through the night without having to get up to go pee, or having to roll over to try to lessen the constant kicking and pushing going on inside my belly.

4. Enjoying the mirror.  Looking in the mirror without thinking I would fit right in with the fat cows that shop at Walmart.  Anyone who shops at Walmart on a regular basis knows what I mean.  They are the people you see on the motorized scooter, which you can barely see under their massive butt, that are always wearing either sweat pants (preferably) or leopard print tights (ewww!).  Sure, when I look in the mirror, I always look at the belly first and am ecstatic at the sight of how large and round my belly is, amazed that there is a person growing inside there.  Then I look at my thighs, my feet, my butt, my face, and the depression sets in.

5. Pretty underwear.  It doesn't exist for pregnant women.  If you know where to get some, PLEASE tell me! You try finding a size 10 lacy anything that will look good.  See previous bullet point.

6. Going out to eat and being able to sit in a booth.  Nothing makes you lose your appetite faster than having to be relocated a few times just to find somewhere you will fit.  Most often you end up with a very hard, very uncomfortable chair being pulled up to the table which does me no good since I can’t lean forward far enough to eat over my plate.  Good thing I have these huge boobs and huge belly to catch all the food that I drop because my swollen hands are too clumsy to get the food to my mouth without making a mess.

7. My wedding rings.  It seems like my hands were the first thing to swell up.  I haven’t been able to wear my wedding rings since the end of my first trimester.

8. My kitchen.  Yes, I still spend time in the kitchen, but it is far from enjoyable.  When cooking I have to make sure I am standing with my hip pointed at the stove or I burn my belly.  When doing dishes, I have to hunch over to reach into the sink.  Getting pots or pans from the bottom cupboard is next to impossible.  By the time I’m done doing anything in the kitchen my lower back hurts so much that I am useless for the rest of the day.

9. Bladder control. Being able to laugh hysterically, or cough, or sneeze without peeing myself.  You would think that going to the bathroom every ten minutes would be enough to prevent this, but sadly no.

10. Fun in the bedroom.  There is only so much you can do when you have a belly as big as mine.  Enough said.

11. Control over my emotions.  Nothing says hormonal like bursting into tears because you dropped something on the floor.

12. Sleeping in the same bed with my husband.  A queen size bed will comfortably fit only one body pillow and one pregnant woman, leaving just enough room for me to toss and turn all night.

I’m sure there is more, and I may even come back and add on to this list as I think of them, but these are the things that immediately come to mind.

Now, on a more positive note, here are the things that I LOVE about being pregnant:

Everything.  Sure I may whine and moan and complain and be a royal pain in the butt sometimes.  But deep down, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Do you have any items you would like to add to the list? Leave a comment with the things that you miss from before you were pregnant.